Taking the Time to Heal the Mind

I was talking to Kellie today about how college sucks. And it really does suck. I have been kicked when I am down so often lately I am getting really tired of it. College sucks because every aspect of your life likes to pretend that the other parts don't exist. It becomes really hard to juggle everything when that happens. Do you know that triangle of choices? You know, this one:

Well, its partially true, except that it should look like this:

I feel that my remade version is more accurate. Because right now I really do just feel like laying in bed and crying. And then binging on entire seasons of a T.V show. It's unfair that life does not leave time for these activities. 

Seriously, why does life think that there is enough time to do all of these things and do them correctly? Even worse, when one of these things goes horribly wrong you have no time to mourn. You have to suck up your stress and your sadness and continue along like nothing happened. I think that is the main reason why people develop different disorders. Eating disorders, mental disorders. Life does not leave time to mend your mind when it is broken. Maybe the death of a loved one or a divorce will be horrible enough in other peoples eyes to grant you time to recover but you can't put a number on someone elses pain. 

All I want to do right now is go home, lay on the couch wrapped in a blanket with my cat curled up next to me, and watch something that will take my mind off of my reality. My mind needs time to heal, and while I know that total seclusion for too long is not the best way to heal, I know that, for me, it is a necessary step that I currently can't take. There is too much to do. But I am very sad, so I will just do the things that need to be done sad. And when people ask how I am I will tell them I am good, because they don't need, and I don't want them, to know my story. 

I know others out there are struggling with one or more aspects of this decagon and I understand and am sorry. Your struggle and your pain is yours and only yours. People can sympathize and hug you all they want but only you can heal your mind. I'm giving you permission now to do what you need, take time for yourself. But don't forget that sometimes the best way to heal the mind is to keep it busy. So while watching the entirety of Boy Meets World or Grey's Anatomy will make you feel better for a while, also make sure to go out and talk to people. Engage in the other parts of the decagon and it will help heal the part that is broken, I promise. 

Life is unfair. In more then just the The-Person-Who-Cut-You-In-Line-Got-The-Last-Bagel unfair. Its unfair because its asks way too much of us and expects us to succeed and be perfect in everything. That is how life is unfair. But at least it is that way for everyone. That makes me feel less alone. 

Right now I feel very alone. So I am going to go watch many episodes of LOST, my T.V show of choice, and wait for my mind to tell me it is ready to heal. I know it will, I just know that this time it is going to take a very, very long time.