Day 45.

Struggle. I know I use that word a lot. It really is the word of the voyage. But before this day I have never been among so much struggle before.

Over 40 people are quarantined. Most of them are from our trip. 

Molly's roommate Maris woke up around 6:30 in the morning with it coming out of both ends and when she went to the clinic they gave her three different antibiotics and told her not to touch anyone or anything because the food poisoning she has is bacterial and so is contagious. 

It smells walking down the hallways. No ones digestive systems like them. 

In comparison I am doing ok. But it hurts to walk, it hurts to sit, it hurts to lay. And I don't know how to make it better. But I am not violently sick.  

I did manage to make it through my classes in the morning, and hand my paper in on time. After I ate lunch, which consisted of bananas and peanut butter and beef soup, I took a two hour nap. 

After my two hour nap I rotated between writhing in pain and blogging. 

I managed to drag myself to dinner, although as soon as I smelled it I felt nauseous. I found Molly in the dining room and she said that she would give me Advil and Pepto so we slowly made our way to her room. And by slowly I really mean slowly. I could barely walk. 

I had gotten an email from my RD Nathan suggesting that if we ever didn’t feel good we should switch out our tooth brush in case it was bacterial. So Molly and I slowly made our way up to the campus store so that she could buy a new toothbrush. Then we slowly made our way back to her room to drop it back off. It was then that the evening announcement went off, which informed us that they would be conducting tours of the bridge over the next few days and sign up were at the activity desk, so we slowly made our way back up there. 

I found that sliding along the railing felt the best. It was here that we ran into Cody, who was looking ridiculous in a suit. Apparently he was invited to fancy dinner with his family. 

I don’t think I talked about the fancy dinners. If you want to celebrate something special you can pay 30 dollars per person and get a private meal in one of the class room. Apparently it is a ridiculous amount of delicious food. And that was why he was dressed up. But he looked absurd. 

The three of us signed up for the bridge tour together. And then we struggled back to the dining room. Now, when I say we struggled I really mean I struggled. Molly was feeling much better and was throughly enjoying watching me struggle. She kept saying how nice it was to be on the other side of the struggle. I didn’t mind her laughing at me because I laugh at her every time she is struggling. Like that one time on the camel. 

I did make it to one of the Explorer Seminars. It was about why we travel and why we write about it. We talked about our blogs and how we are each capturing our voyages. Everyone had very different concepts and write in very different ways depending on their audience. Talking about writing inspires me to write, which is why I like to go to things like that. 

I broke in my new journal during the seminar. I completely filled up mine with Morocco. I kind of forced myself to by the end because I only had a few pages left and didn’t want to have to split Ghana between journals. 

My journal is my main traveling companion. It's teal and I bought it in the campus store before Russia. It has become my favorite thing. I use it to take notes, not really write complete thoughts. Although sometimes I write complete thoughts. I write facts that I learn from tour guides. I write tour guides names. I sketch things. I stick things in there like extra stamps and soda bottle labels that are in different languages. I write things down that people say. I use my notebook to build my blog posts when I get back from port. 

I love it. I'll just be having a conversation with someone or looking something and go, I have to write that down. And I can. I use my favorite pen to write in it and nothing else. I carry two or three of them with me at a time. That sounds really neurotic, but it works for me, and I love how those pens write. 

But I filled it up and needed to get a new one. I went to the store in the morning with the intention of getting the same kind of journal. I didn’t want to get teal again so that I could tell them apart, and I didn’t want pink. That left me with black. I didn’t like the idea of black, or the feel of it in my hand. Mostly because of the connotation of a little black book, which is what I think of when I look at it. But when I was sitting in the seminar and writing in it I noticed that the ribbon in it was blue. Dark blue, but blue. Then I compared it to something that I knew was black. My journal was definitely blue. And immediately my entire perception of it changed. Instead of a little black book that I had to write in, it was my journal. How interesting that my idea of it changed as soon as the color did. 

It still doesn't feel right in my hand, mostly because it isn't broken in yet. My teal journal had become really soft and malleable and was comfortable to fold back and write it. I know the blue one will eventually get that way, I just have to use it. 

I spent the rest of the evening sitting in the dining hall doing homework and finishing my blog posts. Bed felt good. Things were still a struggle and I really hoped that it wasn't going to last much longer.