Spring 2015 - Day 72
Today I went back to the counseling center for my follow up appointment. I actually didn't really panic or feel anxious zip lining after the few moments of anxiousness after putting on my harness. I told her about how I recognized the anxiety and that I tried to do the things that she taught me. I told her they seemed to work because I wasn't anxious the rest of the day but I wasn't entirely sure how it worked. She said that it was completely normal and that the fact that I tried and seemed to succeed was progress enough.
I also talked to her about how I have been feeling really home sick and unhappy on the ship. I told her that I got to talk to my mom and Josh the day before and that doing that made me feel a lot better.
I hadn't realized until that moment that I hadn't talked to anyone on the phone in almost a month, since Singapore. Talking to them made me feel more connected to home, it was something I really needed.
It also just felt really good to be able to talk to someone about how I was feeling. I still don't feel connected with my friends to the extent that I can confess to them how much I am struggling. Going to the counseling center was definitely a smart idea.
In the evening we had the first half of a two night talent show. I got in line for a seat at 7:30 but still ended up sitting on the ground right by the stage. My butt hurt soooooo bad by the end because I had been sitting on the ground for 4 and a half hours.
Yeah, the talent show lasted three hours. They didn't actually audition people for the talent show, they just let anyone who wanted to perform participate, which was great, but they definitely could have weeded out the people who did ridiculously unnecessary things.
Regardless of the fact that I was annoyed that it went so long we do have some really talented people on the ship. There were some really good singers and a few pretty great dance numbers. One of the professors told a story that had everyone laughing.
We were all clearly tired of it by the end and the emcees tried to make us feel better by telling us that there were only 4 acts left. I think we would have only been happy if there was one act left.
It was just strange to schedule such a long evening activity when we have sea olympics tomorrow. Not only that but we have a 9am life boat drill. And I still didn't feel great and wanted to sleep as much as possible so that I would feel up to participating in sea olympics. I went straight to sleep when the talent show ended.
Actually, that's a lie. I spent a while complaining to Stephanie about how out of control the other sea captains were getting. Their plan was to knock on everyone's door at 7 am. Why, I have no idea, since sea olympics doesn't even start until 1pm. Our RD, Morgan, sent an email to all of us captains saying that there are rules on the ship, which include quiet hours, and we need to respect them. She also said a bunch of other things about how we need to be careful with our chants. I have no idea what they were planning but apparently it was not appropriate.
All I know is that I have zero red sea spirit and am actually really annoyed with the way that sea olympics is being handled by the red sea. Possibly because I am angry that they took me off the one event I signed up for. Hopefully it won't be that bad tomorrow and hopefully I am not woken up at 7am.
